The Chair
 
   

     The Europeans brought the chair to the Americas.
Before we can walk we are strapped into a high chair.
We eat from a chair, we take in the media and the movies
from a chair. All too-soon we learn that we are about to spend
the next dozen years invisibly shackled to a chair by the long arm of the
law, threats of imprisonment, suspension or maybe just a day of detention.
     Students spend more time twisted and knotted in a torturous chair than they do
either standing vertically or sleeping horizontally. The body is contorted, crunched-up.
We are told that we canít amount to much if we donít spend more time in that chair to
further our education. We want a job where we can work from a chair. We travel, sitting in a
chair. We are chair junkies. We are walking, talking, thinking, and evolving lazy boys and girls.
     We surf the web, design art projects, read emails, play games, communicate, live, love, laugh,
cry and even die in a chair. The chair is the cool breast we seek to snuggle into for safety,
protection, nutrition and entertainment. Happiness is a jug of white milk, a hand-full
of dark cookies and a warm chair. Just like mama used to make..., even better.
     About the only time we are not in a chair is when we are walking from one chair to another.
A very short distance, usually; with the potty-chair being just over there, out of sight.
    Toss away the chair and you feel healthier. After all, the Indians had no chair.
It was called Mother Earth, not Mother Chair. Sitting in your chair, swirling
your Oreos in your milk, you think to yourself: I wonder which diet is best for me?
How many times should I workout each week? My weight isnít what I want it to be--
my teeth are white, though. Whoa, it feels so good to sit down and take a load off.
Maybe I'll eat the frosting first and then just dunk my cookies.
     We justify our eating habits by incorporating something that we say is "nutritional"
into our diet, like milk. The Oreo cookie theme is: "Milk's favorite cookie."
To most of us this means that we might as well have an Oreo with that glass of milk,
not realizing that we are downing chocolate sugar-wafers smeared with a goop of lard.
Though milk's marketing rap is that it is good for you, many disagree.
   The rationalization that eating a fist-full of Oreos along with that eight ounces of the white
stuff has a canceling effect, seems all-too-reasonable enough to us: Oreos bad, milk good,
They balance each other out. No net nutritional loss. Mmmm, tasty, and good for me too.
Amanda Leigh & Chuck
 

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